w00t! : )
last night i went to see kristin in the hospital. i stopped at her house first, feeling somewhat uneasy to find her roommate, alan, in the bathtub. i had to grab things for her from the bathroom, so i ended up sitting around waiting for him to finish before i could leave. then, i went to the meriter hospital that kris had given me directions to, only to find that she wasn't there... she was at the other meriter hospital in madison. after receiving some very bad directions to the other hospital, i finally found it. i was superbly surprised to find out how completely laid back the ward was that kris was in. they didn't look through the bag of stuff i brought her, they allowed the patients to have things with cords, shoelaces, glass vases, etc. they even have a computer in the ward! i was allowed none of these amenities the last time i went impatient. they searched through all my shit and took away anything that may have had any vague semblance of being something i could use to harm myself with. (for instance, i wasn't allowed to have my acrylic paints, my journal- since it was bound with a metal spiral, some polaroid photos i had brought (i have no idea what they thought i would do with those), the string in my hoodie, etc.) it was just... strange. and the whole place made me feel uneasy. it brought back too many scary feelings and memories. it made me insanely nervous.. almost to the point where i felt like i couldn't catch my breath. after a couple hours there, i knew i had to go; i couldn't take it anymore.
upon leaving the building, i realized that i had no idea where i had parked. the building has several levels of parking, and all of them look the same.. gross and dingy and dark. (my mood probably intensified this) after getting close to the point of having a panic attack simply at the thought of losing my car in this giant mass of parking spaces, i finally found it.
when i got to my car, adrian had already left me a voicemail and two text messages. he gave me directions to where he and paul were at, and in my confusion and anxiety, i got confused and ended up on the opposite side of the capitol that i was supposed to be on. a phone call cleared this up quickly, but by the time i met up with adrian and paul, i was reallyreallyreally stressed out.
after sitting with them for a bit, we decided to meet up with liz at her apartment. there, we encountered goodtimes.. drank honey brown and i smoked waaay too many cigarettes. liz snapped photos all night, and we just had a generally great time. unfortunately, though.. i had to head home around 130 or 145 in an attempt to get some sleep. on the way home, we encountered a guy on the road who was very obviously very drunk.
and i think that's about it.
apparently in this town, only men who are:
* old, or
wheelchair man: "hi suzy."
me: "uhhhhhmmmmmmmm..... hi?"
WM: "so... do you think you could convince me to get a tattoo?"
me: "excuse me?"
WM: "i need some convincing."
me: [with lots of confusion in my voice] "uhm, well.. what could i do to convince you?"
WM: "could i have your number? i'd love to take you out to lunch sometime and we could talk about it."
me: [appalled.. backing away from car] "whoa, dude.. i'm nineteen!"
WM: "that doesn't matter to me."
me: "..and i'm seeing someone."
WM: [disappointed] "oh, well.. i guess that's what matters."
- PAUSE -
WM: "maybe i'll get to see the rest of those tattoos sometime."
anyway, the cd is filled with eighty minutes worth of music, at the dirt-cheap price of $5 per cd-- four of which they donate to united cerebral palsy. the cds will be released on april 26, but are on sale now. you can pay via charge card, or with a check.. however you prefer. so hey.. help out a good cause, and get a great cd at the same time!
you can read more info, listen to two teaser tracks, and order the cd here. do it. now!